White Walls
by xJustxAnotherxGirlx
Summary: I never considered myself as someone with a purpose. But now that's changed. My purpose is to get out of here. AU, rated for violence
1. Blackout

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**AN: Well, it's certainly been a while since I took to the keyboard and actually wrote something but here it is, my latest creation. I realise that this chapter is short but that was intentional, I plan on having much longer chapters.**

**Anyhow, that's enough babbling from me. Enjoy the story and please don't favourite without reviewing. Or even you don't favourite... I like reviews ok. :P**

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Maybe I'd finally summoned up the courage, or maybe I was just weak, but I finally managed to swallow the last pill in the bottle. I could feel the drugs beginning to take effect. Everything went blurry; my body was numb and then everything just faded away. It felt like… falling asleep, only when I woke, I wasn't on a dirty bathroom floor anymore - I was lying in the sand dunes near where I lived as a kid. The one thing I could still recall from those days. The soft sand surrounding me, the sun like a blanket of warmth and comfort. This was where I wanted to be: my happy place if you will.

I was finally going to die, and then I could stay in those soft yellow sands forever. But it seemed fate had another idea.

My stomach churned as I felt someone's fingers slip down my throat. The bile burned its way up into my mouth as I choked and spat whatever contents of my stomach was left. I was back in the bathroom, alive. Footsteps caught my attention and I looked up to see the one who had condemned me to life. He was taller than me, with a head of shaggy brown hair and broad shoulders. He almost looked like...

"Dad," I spluttered, but he did not reply.

Everything went blurry again, but this time it wasn't the pills. I let the sinking feeling in my body win me over, and everything went black.

I woke up in a white room. I tried to survey my surroundings but all I could see was white. My throat still burned from the sick, and my head was throbbing. I tried to lift my hands but they couldn't move. _Strapped down,_ I thought to myself. _But why? Where am I?_ my quiet contemplation was interrupted by more white, only this time the white came in the form of a girl dressed in white, wearing a stethoscope around her neck. Probably an intern. She started shining a small torch in my eyes and I suddenly guessed where I was.

The flashlight stung Gaara's eyes, but after a few seconds his eyesight began to return to normal. He turned his focus to the apparent medical intern who was examining a chart while curling a pink lock around her finger. She flicked through several pages before turning her attention to Gaara. She seemed far too happy for his liking.

"Hi, I'm Sakura," she said cheerily. "Now, can you tell me your name?"

"Gaara Sabaku," Gaara rasped, his throat dry and sore.

"Very good," She replied. "And do you know where you are, Gaara?"

"The hospital, I guess."

Her cheerful expression dropped as she asked, "Do you know why you're here?"

Despite knowing exactly what he was here for, Gaara took another moment to contemplate his situation while the pink haired intern eyed him with caution. "I tried to kill myself," he said slowly. "I tried, and I _failed_."

It was only now that the reality started to sink in. Gaara had swallowed at least forty pills in his attempt to kill himself, and yet, here he was. Strapped down to a bed in hospital. He realised now why Sakura seemed so cautious in spite of her friendly demeanour. Shame began to claw at Gaara's insides; his head was swimming. He tried to cry out but the sound was caught it his throat. _Why?_ he thought. _This isn't how it was supposed to be._ He began fighting his restraints, trying to break free. Everything was going wrong! He wasn't supposed to be here! A second nurse rushed over to assist Sakura who was trying to inject Gaara with something. He fought even harder as the second girl struggled to hold his arm in place. Eventually the two nurses won; the needle slid through Gaara's skin and delivered the sedative into his bloodstream. Everything started to go blurry again.

He looked to the doorway as his vision went dark and saw, once again, the image of his father looking through the doorway at him, though, he began to run when the nurses approached him. _What is going on?_ Gaara thought to himself. But the thought had no time to linger, as a few second later the world turned to darkness yet again.

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**AN: Thank you for reading, hopefully you enjoyed reading my little introductory chapter as much as I did writing it.**

**Again, reviews, favourites etc. are all VERY much appreciated :)**

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	2. Commited

**A/N: BAM! I'm back, and very very extremely terribly sorry for the delays (really I am). I'd give you a reason but there really isn't one, I'm just really lazy. Anyhow, that aside here's chapter two though despite numerous changes made and several arguments with my beta and then some more cretiquing of my own I'm still not entirely sure I'm happy with this chapter, but oh well (hey, feel free to prove me wrong). Anyways, enough authors note, on to the story! **

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The florescent lights felt somewhat less harsh on Gaara's eyes when he woke for the second time. As his eyes began to adjust he began to notice things he was unable to see before, yet something seemed… off. Scanning the room he noticed an analogue clock on the wall to his right, clearly displaying the time of 10:45; whether that was am or pm he had no idea. Also to his right was a tray of medical junk he didn't care to examine any closer. To his left was a small table sitting against the wall; a plastic cup probably full of water sat on top of it. His straps were still tightly secured but Gaara managed to lift himself up enough to see his medical chart hanging idly on the end of his bed. Beyond the bed lay the doorway which hung wide open; outside, on a small chair sat a man dressed in white. He looked overly bored but his gaze was fixed on Gaara, watching him intently. Gaara shuddered and averted his eyes. Continuing his quest to find the source of the uneasy feeling in his stomach, he continued to search the room for some abnormality. It wasn't long before he realised what wrong: Gaara was the only one there. _Usually there are other people in a hospital room, right?_ he thought. O_r at least other beds_. But he was totally alone.

The uneasy feeling began to turn to another wave of panic. Gaara's stomach felt like it was twisted in a knot and his breathing turned shallow. "What's going on?" he called out to the man outside, "Why am I the only one here?" His breathing was becoming more rapid; beads of sweat formed on his forehead, his body began the shake and yet the man did not move to help him. Instead he made a signal to someone out of sight while Gaara's panic grew, tearing at his insides. Though, since he refused to be injected with more sedatives, he forced himself to relax and resisted the urge to fight his restraints.

The reason for the other man's signal was soon present. A man with a silver pony tail and thin rimmed glasses entered the room; he quickly strode over to Gaara's side, and placed a reassuring hand on his shoulder. "I'm glad to see you've calmed down Mr Sabaku," he said. "My name is Kabuto. I'm the head of the psychiatric ward that you'll be transferred to." Unsure of how to respond and still confused as to what his situation was, Gaara chose to remain silent while Kabuto slowly began to undo the straps that held him down. Kabuto glanced down at Gaara's uncertain expression and smiled. "I'm terribly sorry, I'm sure you're still a little confused as to what's happening. I would have had one of the medical interns fill you in but you've been, well, sleeping," he chuckled.

"W-what happened to me?" Gaara asked.

"Well you see," Kabuto began, "it seems that when you attempted to overdose your landlord was chasing you up for rent. You must have been a little behind because he went so far as to enter your apartment to speak to you about it."

Gaara felt a prick of guilt in is stomach. "I was… having some money troubles."

"There's no need to explain yourself to me Mr Sabaku, I'm not here to judge you," Kabuto replied with yet another reassuring smile as he untied the final strap from Gaara's wrist. "Anyhow, your landlord went into your apartment looking for you and found you on the floor in a less than healthy condition and immediately called, well, everyone. You were transported here for immediate medical treatment and you're to be transferred to the psychiatric ward on what we refer to as 'suicide watch', where you'll be placed under surveillance for seventy-two hours. You'll also receive medication for the anxiety you're suffering."

Gaara sat upright, grateful for the freedom to move. He'd never realised that being tied down would cause his muscles to ache so much. Massaging the feeling back into his hands he looked again to Kabuto, who was lingering in the doorway, when a thought occurred, one which he chose to give voice to. "If I'm supposed to be in the psych ward, why am I in here?"

Kabuto sighed and adjusted his glasses. "I thought you might ask about that. You see, there's been a slight issue of overcrowding in certain wards lately as this is only a small institution and the psychiatric ward has taken on quite a few patients as of late. Unfortunately for you that means you're going to have to remain in this room until a bed opens up. It shouldn't be much longer, though, it may still be a few days."

Gaara nodded idly, though he now understood why he was in a tiny room alone rather than a usual hospital ward. But there were still several question floating around his head.

"Well, I hope you'll be alright in here for a while longer," Kabuto said. "I need to be going now, I have a lot of patients to attend to as you can imagine, but I will be checking in. In the meantime you'll still be under surveillance despite your treatment being delayed. I'm sure you understand right?"

The uneasy feeling began to settle in Gaara's stomach again; he hated being watched at the best of times. He was still uncertain as to how he felt about the whole 'suicide watch' and now he'd be watched over for even longer? He could see that Kabuto was expecting some kind of response so he set his feelings aside for the moment. "I understand," he said as calmly as he could. Kabuto nodded politely and turned to exit when Gaara remembered, "Wait!" he called out. "Who was the guy who walked past here earlier. He looked in here and then he took off with some other people following him."

Kabuto gave a concerned expression and adjusted his glasses again, "Nobody has been past here except for the medical staff tending to you, Mr Sabaku. Perhaps it was just the sedative playing tricks on you. Now, if you need to use the restroom, there will always be someone outside this door, so just let them know and they'll escort you. Is there anything else I can do for you Mr Sabaku?"

"Yeah," he said. "Call me Gaara"

"Of course," Kabuto chuckled, and with that he left Gaara to the thoughts and questions that stirred in his mind.

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**A/N: Well, as always, thanks for reading and I hope you enjoyed. And again, as always, reviews and the like are greatly appreciated :)**

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